29-year-old joins family vacation, leaves early when she becomes designated babysitter: 'You're here, we finally get an adult night'

A vacation is not a vacation unless everybody is allowed to relax.

The irony about deciding to go on holiday is that it usually takes a lot of planning. Managing the vacation itinerary so that everything goes smoothly and everybody involved is able to do the kind of thing they want is something that takes real skill and consideration. At the very least, a vacationer wants to feel like the people they are spending time with enjoy their company and appreciate their wishes. It is the bare minimum to expect.

This is not how it always pans out, especially if kids join in on the vacation. Childcare needs do not go away just because parents are somewhere different, and it may be the case that they want a little child free time now and then. If this is what they want, it is their responsibility to plan this properly. Simply expecting that a spare friend or relative will be happy to pick up the slack is entitled to say the least. While many will happily offer the occasional babysitting shift, it is their holiday as well. They are allowed to expect some time to enjoy themselves without worrying about children.

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  • A woman holds hands with a young boy, skipping through the forest
    via Ahmed (Unsplash+)

    A woman holds hands with a young boy, skipping through the forest

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • In this story, a woman was looking forward to a vacation with her extended family at a lakeside cabin. A lot of her young nieces, nephews, and cousins were coming, and she expected that she would be spending a lot of time with them.

    However, what she didn't anticipate was that all the parents were expecting her to be the babysitter when they wanted to do adult-only activities. After a few days, she protested at the assumption that she would do all the childcare, and got dismissed. She decided to leave the vacation early, but faced pushback from her relatives for causing drama.

  • Was I wrong for leaving my family vacation early after realizing I was only invited to babysit everyone’s kids?

    I (29F) went on what was supposed to be a family vacation last week. My aunt rented a lake house for five days and invited my parents, my siblings, a few cousins, and their kids. I don't have children, but I love my nieces, nephews,
    via LokorinV
  • and little cousins, so I was honestly excited. I haven't had a proper break in almost a year and I thought it would be nice to sit by the water, read, cook with everyone, and just catch up.
    via LokorinV
  • The first day was fine, but by the second day I started noticing a pattern. Every time the adults wanted to go somewhere, I was somehow the person left with the kids. Quick grocery trip? I stayed back. Morning hike? I stayed with the toddlers because "they'd slow
    via LokorinV
  • A woman and a young boy lean over a wooden railing on a sunny day
    via Ahmed (Unsplash+)

    A woman and a young boy lean over a wooden railing on a sunny day

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • everyone down." Wine tasting? Obviously I couldn't go because someone needed to watch the younger ones. Nobody really asked. It was more like "the kids are inside with you, right?"
    via LokorinV
  • At first I tried to be chill about it because I didn't want to seem difficult. But then on the third night everyone started talking about going out to dinner without the kids. My cousin said, "thank god you're here, we finally get an adult night." I laughed because | thought she was joking. She wasn't.
    via LokorinV
  • I asked why I was automatically the babysitter and my sister said I was "the easiest option" because I don't have kids and wasn't drinking anyway. That really hurt. I said I came on vacation too, not as unpaid childcare. My aunt told me I was being dramatic and that family helps family.
    via LokorinV
  • The next morning I packed my bag and drove home. Now people are saying I ruined the mood and made everyone feel guilty. My mom says I should have stayed and talked it out instead of making a scene by leaving.
    via LokorinV
  • A woman sits cross-legged beside a young boy, crouching down to look at something in a forest
    via Ahmed (Unsplash+)

    A woman sits cross-legged beside a young boy, crouching down to look at something in a forest

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • SavageRabbitX They feel guilty because the know what they were doing was wrong Fem
    via SavageRabbitX
  • WomanInQuestion NTA - tell your mom you did have a conversation about it and they all said "f you".
    via WomanInQuestion
  • thecatsothermother How in his quietly packing up and leaving "making a scene", when "talking it out" wouldn't have potentially become.e seen as "making a scene?" If you had let your hurt feelings show?
    via thecatsothermother
  • Tell them next time to hire a d babysitter, because you are an adult who loves to do fun things too, not an unpaid babysitter! in
    via thecatsothermother
  • b3mark YNW. They feel guilty because they know they are in the wrong. Bluntly: don't have kids if you want child free vacations.
    via b3mark
  • Politically more correct: hire a baby sitter so ALL the adults can do adult things while the kids are watched and cares for. In your shoes I'd either set ground rules up front if there's a next time. Or I'd bow out of " family week but you're the designated day care rep" vacations entirely.
    via b3mark
  • TheStrouseShow You're amazing. Do not doubt your actions or let people think you're r de when they treated you like the help. PS: let this be a family group chat thing because your family s ks.
    via TheStrouseShow

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